Disappointing...

The other week, I ran out to get COMPANY magazine before spending an hour on the train to go eat cake and spend some time with family. Along with the magazine, I bought a big bar of white chocolate and a coffee to keep me company. It was all peachy, until I found myself in the presence of three young ladies. They were about Sixteen/Seventeen, and had just got on the train, all giddy and excited for having finished college for the day. Everything was fine, until they got onto the subject of food. For the purposes of this text I am calling them L1, L2 and L3, just so I don’t confuse myself in the process.

L1 asked L2, with a cereal bar in hand, “Did you want a little bit? I’ve already eaten way too much today. I had a sandwich and an apple earlier.” L2 replied, “God no, I’ve already had a packet of crisps today. I’m trying to cut down.” L3 said, “Oh same, too many calories!” L1, equally as horrified with herself said, “This has 90 calories!” as she examined the back of the cereal bar packet. They then went on to explain that this was pretty much all they had eaten all day, each replying with, “Oh same” at the very mention of watching their weight.

I know It’s very tame and may not seem like that bit of a deal, but I have never calorie counted in my life and to see these girls, no older than 17, discussing their eating habits as if they have broken the law, it just made me feel a bit sad.

During this conversation between these three ladies, I was reading an article that pretty much summed up the problem I have getting my head around, and that angered me so much, I’ve had to leave it a couple of weeks to get  a balanced opinion, but I’m still not happy.  The article was about a young woman who will do anything to remain skinny, titled “This Is Skinny Club.”

Being skinny is not the dilemma here, I have no quarms about anyone's shape, size or style. The reason why this made me so angry was the way in which it was written and the impact it can have. The girl (calling herself ANON or Anonymous) began with an anecdote on how her best friend baked her an amazing cake for her Birthday, covered in cream cheese frosting and little iced carrots, and how she lied to her friend, said that she was feeling rough and would eat it later, only to take it home and freeze so that she wouldn't eat it and to keep herself from temptation. She then explains that she spends most Saturday mornings baking cakes to give to her friends, so that she can lie and say that she has already eaten lots of them already, just so that they don’t “nag” her about not eating anything. But it gets worse. She pulls out an old quote from Kate Moss; “Nothing tastes better than being thin,” and would deny herself food she actually would like to eat, in order to stay skinny. She gives us details of her daily work outs, where she spends every moment she can, exercising to keep off the fat. (This includes boxing, Pilates, lifting weights, and running. She does squats while she brushes her teeth, crunches as she waits for the kettle to boil and as she watches TV, endless planks). She compares herself to celebrities who are renowned for their size 0 shape, and then believes this is all acceptable because she can “rock a crop top,” and in the process, glamorising her actions to convince us that this is OK.

In defence to this story, It is great to hear that a young woman can feel confident in her body and be brave enough to express her view and lifestyle. When you read the article, you are able to argue that she exercises and still eats healthy food, which is a great and positive attribute to remember. However, at one point she does admit that she may be addicted to the process of being ‘skinny’, and this is taken very lightly, expressed more as a joke than an actual realisation. It becomes clear that the confidence she flaunts is painfully false and potentially very dangerous. There is a bigger issue here; for this woman, the skinnier she is, the happier she becomes, and that is not healthy. At the end of the day, this girl is not happy with her natural shape or size to go through extremes such as this to maintain her idea of a healthy figure. Plus she is lying to her closest friends and family, believing that they are ‘nagging,’ when really, they just care about her. 

I’m not angry at this girl, I'm angry at the way in which this was published. The magazine asks the reader whether they found it offensive or refreshingly honest, in hope to submit our opinions on the website. While it was an article that touched upon issues I had not read before in a commercial women’s magazine, I did not find it refreshing and I did not find it honest. Offensive is too strong a word, but disappointed is definitely one that comes to mind. COMPANY has been a magazine that has gone from strength to strength in the last 2 years. It’s been up to date and current. Showing more and more individual style and street style, it’s represented a healthy balance of fashion, health and beauty awareness, while reminding their readers to be creative and think bigger than what is on their pages, supporting new talent from music, the blogging world, art, crafts and fashion culture. But when I read this article, It just felt like one giant step back. This magazine has a huge influence on myself, and I know from close friends and people I admire from afar, that they feel the same. An article such as this one can be damaging, It is very difficult to explain the why this article can be so influential, but all you have to do is follow this link; http://www.company.co.uk/magazine-hq/theskinnymyth, and you can see the hundreds of other women and men who believe that this wasn't the best move.

Its the glamorising of an idea that this process of becoming skinny no matter what the means is OK, and can be achieved if you too 'put in the effort'. At no point is their an alternative view. This girl has persuaded herself this is the only way to be happy, and has no other opinions on the matter. For all we know, this girl may have a psychological illness or an eating disorder, and giving her this platform without at least someone asking if this is OK, could make it ten times worse. Lets just hope next month they bring out a more calculated and well balanced view.

If you want to read the article its in the June issue of COMPANY.

*WARNING* Explicit Lady Content

Now Guys, stick with me.

I find it funny how most men (not all) seem to cower at the smallest mention of The Crimson Wave, getting the painters in, The Blob (gross) or just That time of the month. As soon as a woman wakes up with that bloated feeling, roaring headache, crippling cramps and pissed off attitude, the rest of the week you are popping back and forth from the loo and the guys just don’t want to know… understandable.

Well now, with thanks to Tampax and Always, neither do I.

These adverts freak me out. At first the premise seems OK. Mother Nature calling around every month whether it’s unexpected or not, and the female is fine as she has prepared for such events. But seriously, Mother Nature asking a young lady “is it rough?” with the response of “not this time Mother Nature. It’s smooth!” or “I've got your monthly gift” as she presents an unopened present. Why make these adverts so camp? It’s scientific and perfectly natural, women can easily talk to each other about it and it shouldn't be embarrassing. Do we really want a rodeo maxi pad or diagrams of how much blue liquid can be absorbed? I mean, come on, that’s just a bit weird, especially as I innocently tucking into my toast on a Wednesday morning. I don’t need that, and I don’t need a demonstration; I just need you to tell me that they work. Why put me in more of a mood than I already am?

Add to this, the fact that these range of products are a necessity late into your life, I don’t care how much you try to glamorise them, you don’t want to buy them, you have to buy them.

Men, do you know how much money a woman spends on lady toiletries? A LOT. Personally, I believe they should be given free off the NHS. ‘The Tampon Tax’, if you will. And I'm starting to wonder why it’s never been suggested before…

I blame Thatcher.

It's going to be FINE!

It’s fine to only eat chocolate biscuits for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

It’s fine to shake your head in embarrassment in relation to something you have done yourself.

It’s fine to love The Muppets and sing the theme tune on a regular basis (oh… just me).

It’s fine to fall over/knock over a drink/walk into walls and pretend that it was pre-meditated.

It’s fine to spend two hours painting your nails, only to wipe them clean again.

It’s fine if someone asks for ID and you can’t remember how old you are.

It’s fine when on the phone to say “Got to go, I’m busy,” when you really just need a wee.

It’s fine to stick your tongue out like a 5 year old when an enemy walks away.

It’s fine to sit on the floor, staring at your clothes, half naked in hope that they will dress for you.

It’s fine to sit in bed watching TV until half 2 in the afternoon, before you do something productive… such as eating more biscuits.

Where are my freebies?!

Hey, you, Magazine world! Where are all my freebies?

I have a collection of magazines I use for cut outs, decoupage (how posh), crafting and all sorts. A lot of these go as far back as 2005. Flicking through them, either for inspiration or ideas, I was reminded of the amazing freebies you used to get! And I'm not talking about the free mascara that comes with the magazine. I'm talking about the delightful surprise freebies, with-in the pages, waiting patiently for me to find.

You used to get at-least five free samples, whether that was a facial cream, a perfume, make-up foundation, there was quite a bit of choice. Usually, this would then lead me to actually buying the item, because at lease I knew then whether it was worth me spending the cash or not.

I'm always up for a bargain (or maybe I'm just cheap), but I think in our time of recession, the very least these mega-money company execs' could do, is pop in a little 1ml sachet of cream.

It would make the world a better place.

Guilty Pleasures

So, I’m going to be completely honest with you now. As an avid coach potato, I love TV. When there are shows in which I feel physically sick at the thought of watching (Big Brother, Made in Chelsea, Only way is Essex… you know the type) there are some, ok a few, I really shouldn’t like, but LOVE to indulge in.

In true High Fidelity form, here is my top 5 TV Guilty Pleasures.

#5 Antiques Road Trip

This is just a lovely British programme, with very British presenters trying to scoop up deals from very British traders. They travel around the UK seeking out history in furniture, crockery, vases, sporting equipment, in fact anything with a story. Its just lovely. I don't need to support my argument as to why this is a guilty pleasure, it speaks for its self.

#4 Don’t just stand there; I’m having your baby.

This is a new one. I have only seen a couple of episodes so far, but it’s a mixture of 'One born every minute' and a BBC Three’s Cherry Healy documentary. Basically it follows couples up until the birth of their child, making the men get more involved and learn a bit more about the process of labour. It usually comes on just before I go to bed, and I’ve found that instead of turning the TV off, I just sit and stare at it. So far, I’ve cursed relentlessly at most of the men for being so narrow minded and controlling. One man criticising ‘his woman’ for wanting the option of pain relief during labour and passing any insight off from midwives with “how painful can it be?” Great, just great. Having said that, these men have, so far, seen the error of their ways once in the room with a very powerful and angry woman in labour, who are subsequently (with use of a metaphor) pushing a camel through the eye of a needle (originally I was going to use another description instead of needle that had something to do with the male anatomy, if only it were not for fear of my mum or dad reading this).

#3 Jeremy Kyle

This is the root of all evil. It’s brilliant, but evil. I used to loath this programme, and I still kind of do. But I just can’t take my eyes off it! Nothing makes you feel better than watching Jezza’ re-offenders scream at each other about who’s sleeping with who, who stole this or how many men/women they have had behind the kebab shop. Yes, this is people’s miserable lives we are taking pleasure in, but at least you have never acted out in their fashion. You have been good to others, you have gone to work, worked hard, been patient… you deserve to get angry at the woman who seems to be cheating on five guys all at once, to then not understand how she has done so in the first place (not to sound prejudice or judgemental, but have you seen some of these men and women!?). Anyway, its pure guilt.

#2 21 Jump Street

A lot of people couldn't understand my excitement when the remake with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum was in the pipeline back in 2009/2010, but some of you may not know that 21 Jump Street was an American TV series in the 80s starring Johnny Depp. I have all five of the original series on DVD. If you ever get the chance to watch it, or see a clip on youtube, it is very ‘corny’ and very much an ‘after school special’ sorta’ show. It has morals and a message and a DON’T DO DRUGS attitude, but it just works for me. It’s not too serious, but when it needs to be, the message is clear. Plus it has real 80s fashion and a baby faced Johnny Depp! What more could you want!?

#1 Monk

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of watching the legend that is Monk, I’ll give you a quick update. Adrian Monk was once a detective of the San Francisco Police Department, until his wife Trudy is killed in a car bomb. Trudy’s death led Monk into a nervous breakdown, in which he refused to leave his house for three and a half years. During this time he developed crippling OCD and a fear of milk, ladybugs, harmonicas, heights, driving, germs… you get the picture. With his intense need for perfection, and a sense and keen eye for detail, he pieces some of the strangest and most obscure murder plots no-one would ever think of. IT’S FANTASTIC. It’s funny, sad, silly, heart warming, easy to watch and the acting isn’t half bad. Tony Shaloub (Monk) is just wonderful. The last few episodes of the final series made me cry and I’m not ashamed to say it. He makes me want to reach in the TV and give him a hand shake, while respectfully passing him a hand wipe and some hand sanitiser.

Vintage, its a dirty word.

Can I just say “vintage” is becoming a dirty word, overused by people doing knock off stuff. High Street shops use it to describe their cheap and nasty version of something once brilliant. People with no fashion history knowledge, throw the word around to flog us yet more rubbish. Vintage is meant to be used to describe something of age; I meet antique and vintage dealers all the time and everyone has a different idea of how old something has to be before they can use that word. But big organisations have realised that vintage is now a massive trend and are using it to reproduce nasty versions of something that was once a quality item. All you have to do is type in vintage clothes into eBay and all types of 'repro' crap come’s up. 

A word that pisses me off even more is bloody “retro”. If someone describes something as retro it is basically a piece of shit. Retro is generally used to describe something that looks vintage, normally by someone that has no fucking idea, when it was actually made to sell under the whole “vintage” umbrella. So I'm asking you, swot up on what style each era possessed. It’s interesting, ask questions, read some books and you may find a whole new style that you never knew was out there. And please, PLEASE don’t buy anything that is sold to you that's reproduction, or something a bigwig advertising director has decided they will call vintage because it has a stylistic nod to a certain era! Make your own decisions, you may find that you only want to wear completely modern stuff, or that you want to dress entirely in 1950’s gear, there is nothing wrong with modern copies, or wearing something that is from the 90’s that looks sixties, you make your own mind up, and don’t be swayed by bullshit miss-use of an incredible word.

Women are Funny AND Intelligent? Well, that is news to me...

Of course, I’m being sarcastic. And if you didn’t get that, you need a lesson son. 

Here’s the thing, in the last year the amount of female positive exposure in the media, the news, TV Shows, magazines and just general chit chat has been incredible, with shows like Miranda, Anna & Katy, New Girl, GIRLS, Two broke Girls; I mean look at all that Girl Power. Strong, funny, smart women are in abundance, but I can’t be the only one who already knew this, surely?

It feels like every few years, there is this surge of media attention on women, a trend if you will, that disappears as soon as it hit the front page of Take a Break magazine. One show follows another show, then another and then it’s forgotten. Yes people, women are funny. Do I have to mention those who have been around for years, decades even? Well I’m going to anyway. Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Tamsin Grieg, Tina Fey, Jo Brand or how about the amazing sketch show Smack the Pony, which I loved and was probably a little inappropriate for my age when it was its on, but god do I love those women. I’m surrounded by smart, witty women every day; I don’t need to be reminded every time I turn onto Channel4 with a montage of faces flashing before my eyes and ol’shouty man repeating “Funny Women!” like it’s a shocking statement. Ok, I’m starting to sound like an angry suffragette. But you get the picture. 

What I’m getting at is it feels a bit patronising, like a pat on the head and an “Aww, well done”. I don’t want this positivity to go away, but I think everyone gets it now. So stop going on about it, before it becomes a novelty. Like the ‘Harlem Shake’.

Woman, Out!

tis the Season to be crafty?

To say it has been a while is an understatement. While it seems the majority of people around me have got their heads in the right place. My plans seem to change daily. I can't wake up with-out pressing the snooze button at least 5 times. I can’t get dressed with-out throwing everything I have out of my wardrobe in a rage, to the tune of "I have nothing to wear." I can't for the life of me remember what day it is; Sunday was Saturday and today was yesterday. I can't even hold a date down with my best friend (All work and no play, gets in the way and all that). But in my time of need, when all else fails me, what I can do is Craft! #1 It takes little to no money and #2 It takes little to no planning.

The last couple of weeks I've increased my productivity by about 90%. I went from changing the blankets around on my bed for fun, to completing three homemade Christmas presents and a Christmas wreath, made from magazine cut-outs.

So I got to thinking. I do this every year. It gets to December and I suddenly go all Martha Stewart, but by the New Year I've lost it. And I have indeed lost it. I'm capable of being creative all year round, but something is always missing from my arsenal. I just cannot stick to my guns and set out to accomplish all those half arsed projects in my cupboard. What has caused my lack of inspiration? Where’s the wind in my sails? The fire in my heart? The... oomphf?

I want to inspire and be inspired, so I thought I'd search for something to help. Some phrases, mottos or a simple 'mantra' if you will. Nothing complicated, or patronising, just a little reminder to give me that push.
Here's just a few I found.

1. "Everything is okay in the end, if it's not ok, then it's not the end."

It can’t just be me who tends to think it's the end of the world before I’ve even finished something. I worry about the silliest of things and panic. This mantra reminds us that what we care about most isn’t always straightforward and when you are at your worst, difficult situations make you want to give up. I know more than anyone that “Don’t give up, It’ll be ok”can be the last thing you want to hear, but this new phrase gives it a fresh spin and makes you less likely to want to punch someone.

2) "Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about."

Every day I have a conversation, or read an article, or see something that makes me think, "I should write about that". It’s not always interesting, but if you show how enthusiastic you are about the subject, you can find something that interests others. A mutual agreement that you never knew you had. Even better, a point of view you may never have seen. Since me and my friend started a project last year called BexhillToBrighton, I’m always thinking about things we should write about. We may not always get round to doing it, but it doesn't mean it’s not important or that we’ve given up.

3) "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein

Oh Einstein, this does bring me great joy. We British have a way of selling ourselves short. I claim I’m not very bright, or have no special skills, but I am creative. Intelligence is more than just mathematics and general knowledge. I'm not saying I'm the most imaginative, but I'm not the most unoriginal. If one person a day/a week/a month says to you "Oh, that's a good idea. I've never thought of doing that" you can’t be going wrong. If that little idea you had made someone think and got their own imagination going, it may have been the most creative and helpful idea they have heard in a while.

Plus, if Einstein says so, it must be true.

geek alert with Microsoft SmartGlass

I love gaming. I love being a Geek. I love knowing things about boring stuff and being enthusiastic about it.
I could talk about Assassins Creed III's release towards the end of October, which I am way too excited about, but there's bigger Batarangs in my Batbelt! I'll try not place in too many gaming references.

Microsoft released information about their latest gadget at this years E3 Conference back in June. To fill you in, E3 is a huge annual computer and video game trades show. E3 stands for The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hence E3. Microsoft announced SmartGlass, I'ts a new smartphone and tablet app that you can download to iPhone, Android Handsets or a Windows Phone. It connects to your Xbox live account and works along side you while you watch films, TV and even when playing the latest Games Releases.

Nintendo Wii have brought out something similar. The Wii Tablet (Wii U) as a new type of remote control... almost like a huge TV sized Nintendo DS in your living room that reacts to and moves the game along. But the SmartGlass is different. 1) It's pretty much available for anyone with a phone/tablet and Xbox. 2) You don't need to buy any new hardware. And 3) I believe It may even be a free app.

You know the Mission Impossible films when people stand around about 4-5 virtual screens swiping and moving things from one screen to the other. It's pretty much going to be that. So in game when you want to bring up the menu to change settings, selecting a new weapon or item, viewing the map and selecting your next location or when you cant for the life of you remember what that actress' name is while watching a film or program, you just pick up your phone and its all there ready for you.

I just love this futuristic feel. It might be a bit much. But were better to use over the top tech than when your running around pretending to be a warlock, or a half man half machine, or even Batman.

Anyway, Im off to Geek-out somewhere else about the possibilities.

Much Love! 
Alanna x-x-x

Check out the video link below. Pretty much sums it up, watch out for the cheesiness.

http://www.xbox.com/en-US/live/smartglass

Alanna's Rant (It's long and has no pictures)

I would definitely say I'm not well read and I definitely don't claim to be, but I've always liked the idea.
It takes me a really long time to find a book I love and continue to read beyond the first few pages.
So, what's annoying is when said book is found and the ending is ruined by circumstance of location.
 WHY DID I HAVE TO READ IT ON THE TRAIN!?

I'm purposely not disclosing my choice of book (no, it's not Fifty Shades of Grey) as it has been made into a film and people would tell me off for neither seeing the film and/or reading the book in the first place (also if you where thinking of reading it, it means I don't ruin the ending for you).

I decided to pick up this book and then after completion, watch the film. After finishing and being left with a thought provoking book, my own resolutions and my own ideas of what may happen to the characters after the paper back was closed, I bought the film and really enjoyed it... untill the second to last scene revealed to me a completely new revelation.

Let me explain. So, when reading the book, in the second to last chapter, the protagonist (male) asks a very important question (you can probably guess the question) to a Girl he just met and has become infatuated with, very quickly. In the next and last chapter we see that he is still with his long time girl friend, but essentially in the end the reader is left to decide whether or not he decides to stay with the girl friend or start a new with this other woman. This, I really liked. It made sense not to know the outcome as the protagonist through-out the book is riddled with doubt and forever changing his mind. BUT! And a big but. In the film... he asks his Girl friend the very important question!

...Hang on... What! How dare they change the ending!... wait a minute

*pauses film and finds the book*

I FUCKING  READ IT WRONG!

Never before had I felt so stupid. I had been cheated. The general public and the distracting noises they make. A man on his phone, the mother and her child screaming at each other, they all made me miss it! This isn't fair. The first book I have read for 2 years and they ruin it! Stupid trains.

Now, the characters live happily ever after! Which I am sure I would have loved if I had read it that way in the first place. There is a definite difference between my ending and the films... and it therefore ruined both experiences for me. I'm never reading on the train again.



..........I suppose It's my own fault.


I guess there Is a reason I'm not well read.